We are always looking for new connections. It’s how we meet our life partners, hire the right people to work for us, build healthy relationships to help solve complex problems, establish new friendships and create lasting bonds. It is difficult to influence or truly understand anyone if you do not learn to connect to their needs, what is important to them or their value systems. The first thing you want to do to connect deeply with anyone is to find out what they care about, make efforts to find out who they care about and be patient enough to listen to the reasons why they care about the people and things that are important to them. Knowing the core of another person is how you can quickly connect to them. You will have deeper insights into how people think as well as how they see the world. Below are some simple tools to help you connect with anyone.
How’s your day going?
What’s on your mind these days?
What projects are you working on these days?
If you could be doing anything in the world right now at this moment, what would that be?
What are you struggling with these days?
What are you most worried about these days?
What projects have you been avoiding to start?
What are you excited about these days?
What’s taking up most of your time these days?
What have you been spending time doing this week?
Who is taking up most of your time?
How would you prefer to spend most of your time?
Where would you like to spend more time?
What have you spent the most amount of money on this month?
What is most of your spending on?
What’s giving you joy today?
What’s the best thing you’ve done this week?
What do you do for fun?
What is your main function or role here? (This could be in a family, team or group).
Who or what has made the biggest impression on you this week?
What is the best thing you learned this week?
What are you learning these days?
What’s inspiring you these days?
What is making the biggest impact on your life these days?
Who are you making a difference in their life?
What thoughts dominate your mind these days?
What’s your biggest dream?
What’s that extra edge that you need in life today? Where do you feel that you need it the most?
Where is your biggest motivation coming from these days?
Where do you need help or support in your life at the moment?
If you could change one thing about your day/week what would that be?
If you weren’t afraid, what would you be doing with your life?
If you didn’t have to worry about money, what would you be doing with your life right now?
If you’re on a trip your first question could be: Are you heading home or leaving home?
Next follow up the above questions with;
Tell me more about it. What else is on your mind?
Then you can proceed with the next set of questions such as: Where do you need some help these days? Is there any way I could help?
Finish with: Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you sharing a part of your life with me. It was nice to chat thank you!
These questions will help you learn more about the hopes, fears, core desires and dreams of the people you step into their lives. As a result of these questions, you will leave every conversation with a higher level of meaningful connection. You will discover what makes them go “WOW” and what makes them tick. You can go even further and deeper when you feel more comfortable and ask them to share with you the dreams of their loved ones. Let them know that you are on their side and to know you support them no matter what they share with you. Be open and see where you can offer help and do so with their permission. If you are in a position to help then offer them some help or a path to realise their dreams. Tell them: I see the possibility of a bright future for you.
Remember that every new interaction has the capacity to reveal or discover something new which both of you do not already know.
Download for free my e-book JUST CHAT LOVE to help you find the right partner that is compatible with your values, personality and lifestyle as well as take away all the guesswork when it comes to dating successfully and creating a healthy relationship. You can also check out our advanced communication program on how you can further develop an attractive personality and take your communication to the next level.
Connect with me directly on www.kcnwokoye.com (web email) or @kcnwokoye on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn or YouTube. Keep on shining!